Exciting days ahead!

Exciting!!! Yes, folks, that's the word for today, and which describes yesterday, today, and the many tomorrows that I will face in my journey with God!

Well, it was exciting to be taught the guitar. Admittedly, I only know 6 chords now, and my fingers are numb, AND I've managed to alienate/irritate - oh, only about half the crusaders around Crusade Corner - but I foresee.. something.. uhm.. great! Yes, that's the word - something great! If not great music, at least great worship! Ha-ha.. now let's just see if I can keep up the enthusiasm.. and not have to eat my words. :p

Here, I'd like not only to thank my friends for not giving up on me and for, *ahem*, edifying me all along, but also to apologise to them. For *whispers* many more hours of torment. Heh-heh. Oh well, at least you could say I'm a Godsent to many of you guys out there - I was sent by God to test your patience!!!

A special thanks goes out to... who else but.. my Guitar-Guru, Sifu of Strings, Mr Joshie Chee! Ha-ha. Despite him saying I treat him like crap (c'monnnn Joshieeeee.. I don'tttttt....), I'd have the whole world know, I DON'T! I respect his playing skills and that's why I'm always seekin' for new and most importantly, fast ways to improve my strumming, so as to .. uhm.. to make known his great teaching! =)

Nah, seriously.. thanks J, for teaching me and not being impatient. Ha-ha. Despite the many many opportunities.

Well let's see.. something embarrassing did happen today when I started practising and "Consuming fire-ing" though.. I was chased out of a classroom! Apparently the law students were having their lessons in the classroom next to mine, and so I was chased out.. but not before I overheard loads of snickering and "I know this song, but.." emitting from the wall. Hmm. Red-faced and abashed, I tiptoed back past the classroom to the room where Lindeee and co were.

The moment I opened the door, they burst out in laughter. Apparently some smart-alecky law student had come into their room before visiting mine, to ask if they were the ones singing.





Hmm. Another exciting thing that's happened. Thanks to an inspiring talk I had with a fellow ASPC-ian (who shall remain unnamed here), I was .. uhm, inspired. To take his/her lead and to pray the same prayer that he/she had prayed, some time ago. And which God had answered, truly and surely. Thanks. =)

Dear Lord.. I've already committed this whole thing into Your mighty Hands, Father.. so now, Lord, what I ask is for the faith and courage, the faith and courage to know that You'll see this through.. Life's going to be really, extremely exciting and packed with what You will answer me with, Lord.

Exciting!!! *rubs hands* Although I might look back upon this and call myself a sadist, sometime in the future.. but all's in the control of God.

God will bring things about in His own time - "God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords..." 1 Tim. 6:15

An answer to Dinkeee...

Hey Dink-girl,

Remember the question you asked me a few days ago? About.. *ahem*. (Let's see if you remember what I remember! Ha-ha!)

Anyways, got this off Lindee's blog, and she got it off Kenny's blog, and I don't know where he got it off.. but I think the last part answers the question.. heh.

I like you because I dont know why but everything that happens is nicer with you. I cant remember when i didnt like you. I guess I dont know why I like you really. Why do I like you I guess I just like you.

For those who are going "SoooOoo...".. don't worry, the YOU here does not refer to Dinkeee! It's just an answer to her question. HAHA.

Ask and ye shall receive.. maybe not! So you don't have to ask me who it refers to...

Just some thoughts..

Had a great talk with Karen earlier today after lunch, and I'm just so glad that we talked. And talked. And managed to clear up some stuff... somehow, like she said, this makes the friendship so much more real.

And I've realised some stuff too. How much my friends love and care for me, and how selfish I've been, in the midst of my own problems.. I don't lift my head from the clay sucking me in to take a good look around and see how others need me, or just love and simple gestures of concern, more than I need them. And this is something I'll ask God to change - I really want to love them, on GOD's terms!

I've realised too.. just how I've changed. I don't know if this is something God's done to my life, or something I've done against His Will, cos I really can't discern at this point in time whether it's a godly change or not.. but one thing is that I've learnt to really become less people-oriented and more and more task-oriented. Sometimes I tend to fix my eyes on an aim that is too idealistic and inevitably, that causes me to forge ahead on my own, with minimal care for the thoughts of people around me, or without caring about various distractions. For instance, in my goal to grow in Christ and to learn more about God, sometimes I don't really look around enough to help others who are struggling in their walk.. I feel. I really don't know if that's good or bad, whether it just means that I'm single-minded (which is good), or selfish (BAD) - but it is most probably a combination of both.

Oh wells. Today's sermon spoke to me too. One point that Uncle Andrew preached about was that a ministry is not just about doing tasks, and carrying them out well - it's about caring for people too!

I think for too long, far too long in my life, I've really used my capabilities and inborn giftings to get around. Nothing's been too tough, nothing too difficult to handle. And that's the reason that right now, I'm stuck like that - thinking that as long as I perform a task well, sometimes other things, other people don't matter. Another problem with me is that I don't feel contented often - oftentimes, I strive to become a Jonathan instead of a David, even when God's placed me in that particular position for the time being for me to learn.. for me, that's something I'm always struggling with. Even worse, I don't depend on God nearly enough.. I do know that everything I have is given by Him, but because of all that He's given me, I've grown complacent and overly self-reliant.

That's so wrong. I need to ask God for humility, and to teach me to depend on Him. It won't be an easy road ahead, but God will bring me through and teach me to become more and more Christlike.

Better than a drug...

..Gosh.

I feel..so exhilarated.

Just got back from this tiny little extended-worship session I'd planned for our cell group. It. Was. Great! There're no words to describe my state of joy and excitement right now.. Thank You Lord! Thank You for everything.. for even giving us mouths to be able to worship You!

I feel SOOO HIGH! If I could I would bounce off the walls.

Yup, I know one danger of worship is that it tends to bring people to an emotional high.. which might not be what God wants us to feel. Cos God isn't only felt through emotions.. He's here, all around us, even when our emotions don't say so. And sometimes emotions are wrong.

But still.. underneath my joy and exhilaration.. is just.. this sense of peace. That it's okay to feel happy and thankful to God. THANK YOU LORD!

Furthermore, I've taken away from the session a deep sense of fulfillment - because I've decided, all over again, that I REALLY want to get to know our Father more. I want to know You more, and I want to see Your face! It's a decision of the will, Abba Father, and I know that You will see me through this commitment.

I was telling some people that I ALWAYS feel like that after singing.. so I'll make it my personal thanksgiving now, Lord.. Thank You that You've given me a mouth to open (wide), a voice to sing with, and even hands to express myself through gestures! Thank You Lord!

Oh yes!!! One other exciting thing - I finally got to learn how to play a guitar! Well just the G, C, E minor and D chords - but already I can play (well sorta) Consuming Fire and How Great is Our GOD!!!! Heh-heh-heh. More reason to torture the ears of everyone else. =)

Cool cool cool!

Thank You Lord!

Bad dream..

Oh gosh..

It's 3.33am in the morning, and I'm blogging. Reason? I just woke up from a bad dream. Even til now, the fear of it clutches at my heart and makes it hard to catch air into my lungs.

It wasn't those kind of monster-chasing-after-me-baring-sharp-teeth nightmares. I wasn't scared of the experiences I was undergoing per se.. more the emotions of abandonment and despair and envy and grief they evoked in me... such vivid emotions.

Ya, stuff is magnified a hundredfolds in dreams and sometimes the fear and rejection you feel in dreams.. is an exaggeration. Is it true that the mask of rationality I hide behind in the daytime is all stripped away as night falls, and my true self is revealed? I don't know about that.. but sometimes dreams do serve as a reminder that some emotions you should be feeling are being repressed.

I remember I was crying desperately in my dream, but not outright. In the secret, behind the backs of everyone.

Don't think I want to sleep anymore tonight.

Cute Fat Timmie..

Here're a few more pictures of my cute, fat little Timmie, courtesy of Li-en, Eeleen, Sandra, and fellow group members.


Check out those teeny, slitty little eyes. "I know I'm cute, but you don't have to gaze at me with such adoration...!"



He's hiding some hamster snacks in his pouchy cheeks! Doesn't he kind of remind you guys of.. *ahem*.. another Timmie with chubby cheeks?


All right, below he's tired of all this fawning over him and wants to sleep.

I felt extra sleepy this morning. (wait, don't I feel like that every morning?)

So I lay me down to sleep..and sleep..and sleep.

And you know that period between full blown consciousness and full blown unconsciousness? It's just a little window of time, about 5 minutes or so. But that's when your body is paralysed and yet when your mind is still active.. it's not active in the same sphere as your day-to-day mind, though. It's active in another sphere..

This time round my sphere was back in Germany.. I don't know why it took me so long (more than half a year!!!) to get to missing Deutschland. But suddenly, I just did. I missed Bayreuth.. I missed the crystal clear beauty of the Alps..

In my mind's eye, I still saw.. the cobble-stoned streets of Bayreuth. Good ole Bayreuth. Boring and small, but oh-so-cozy. I saw the entire 1-hour's-worth of journey zu Fuss from my hostel to school... past the Marktplatz, the marketplace, with the three centuries old statues established smack in the middle. I saw the famous Operhaus - Opera house - a place to which that opera aficionados strive to buy tickets to, by hook or by crook... I felt the cool wind whistling at my cheek as it did so many times before.. in the air, I sniffed in delight at the Döner Kebabs and pizzas...

I also saw.. one of my favourite places on earth - the German Alps. Talk about gorgeous. Imagine mountains capped with snow in the winter and surrounding crystal-clear, sparkling turquoise lakes in the spring.. imagine a mad German King, determined to build the most beautiful palace in the world in this beautiful environ.. imagine his delight, his pleasure.. and finally, imagine his mysterious death of drowning, along with that of his doctor.

Sigh. I think every March or so, this certain Wanderlust gets into my blood, and I start behaving weirdly. I yearn to leave everything behind and just - go. I want to travel. I want to travel ALONE. I want to be with God's Creation - not in urban cities, but alone, in the mountains, with the grasslands, with the goats and the horses .. with the fjords.

What makes me feel alive..

...something Dinkeee asked yesterday which set me thinking.

Well, I told her, three things make me feel the most alive.

Talking to people (yesh yesh, so typical..), travelling, and singing (especially when I'm singing worship songs.)

But when I got home, yesterday evening and today, I proceeded to think more. And more. And I think there's so much more that makes me feel - alive. Glad to be alive. Joyful.

Standing on the top deck of a mid-sized ferry, feeling the wind blowing ferociously against my face - that makes me feel alive. Suddenly coming to an understanding about some disgustingly difficult philosophy problem - that makes me feel alive. Being able to debate (and argue some people down, kekeke) about these philosophical issues makes me feel alive. Trudging through the snow and rubbing my red nose and staring in amazement at the misty breath coming out of my mouth - like I've done once in my life - makes me feel alive.

So does walking home in the dark at 2am in the sharp brisk wind; so does feeling God's love and the love of my friends and family. I feel alive when I'm pressing my nose against train windows, staring at the scenery passing by at 80km/h.

I feel alive when I'm basking in the sunshine.. at the back of my mind, I know I have an appointment somewhere, sometime, but somehow, just standing in the warmth of the sun and gazing at my shadow is all that makes me feel alive, at that particular point in time.

I feel alive at that first trembling bite of simple porridge or bread-and-cheese, when I've been ill and had no appetite for a few days. The plain food tastes like the best foie gras in the world to me then, as I close my eyes and savour...

I feel alive after a long run in the park, which I sadly hardly do anymore..but when I do do it.. despite the aching limbs, the trembling muscles, the sweatiness.. I feel alive.

Yup..those, and loads more, make me feel alive. Thank God for hands to feel, mouths to sing and worship, and feet to travel! Eyes to take in all Creation and ears to hear... thank God for being able to live..

What makes you feel alive? Think about it.. celebrate life... celebrate just simply being able to live!

Stuff.

Yup.

I'm tutoring Viki, going down almost religiously every Saturday, but it just doesn't seem to help.

I can't say how discouraged it is, trying to help this boy. It's not that he's lazy or stupid - cos he really is NOT. He's a bright boy who happens to be terrified of Maths. Some people do have Maths dyslexia, you know... I know he cannot help it. I know it's not that he doesn't want to do his homework - I know how paralysing fear can get. Imagine your greatest fears - for some people, it might be giant cockroaches, and just the thought of gigantic, humongous insects forces them into motionlessness. (Just a sidetrack:for these people, one quick way to get over your fear is to read the best story in the world about a man-turned-cockroach. ).

Anyways, I was saying. For Viki, Maths is the thing that gets him down. And it gets me down too, especially when I know I'm trying so hard and he's trying so hard and yet, he still somehow cannot manage even - Secondary 1 fractions.

Yup. Fractions. This is the third week we've been doing fractions - just reducing them to the simplest term, converting mixed numbers into improper fractions, and vice versa. For most of us, a piece of cake, easy-peasey lemon-squeezy. Not so for Viki. If you could see him, sitted there, forehead twisted in concentration, counting on his fingers to see if 5 + 8 = 13... then maybe we wouldn't be feeling so complacent about our ability in Maths, or any other academic work.

I really had tears in my eyes just now as I attempted to explain to him why 5/2 is equivalent to 2 and 1/2... mainly as I had done this, many times before. Tears of frustration, or impatience, or both. Tears of pity, I guess too.

Many Saturday mornings (well I've only been doing this 5 or 6 times, but I guess a large majority of these times) I've woken up not feeling at peace. I want to help Viki, sure. I struggle with waking up early just for Viki.. but I've managed to do it thus far. But what I cannot help hating the feeling I get when I reach there and just cannot help him solve his Maths problems. I know the fault doesn't lie with either of us but still.. this sense of defeat is really discouraging.

But God is still good. As I walked out from the Cheshire Home just now, head bowed, I started thinking. And thinking. And I think God's teaching me patience, using Viki.. He's teaching me about the dangers of complacency, and to be thankful for the blessings that I have - the fact that reducing fractions and that the multiplication tables (up to 12 that is) comes easily to me; for the fact that I don't have to count on my fingers when I solve Maths problems. And most importantly, God's teaching me how to love.

I guess my sense of frustration and of feeling discouragement is still with me.. but I also know that God's in control and that my strength lies with Him, and that I'll find peace within my Lord.

Lord, please teach me how to love.. and please let me find joy.. in You alone. Because the world is imperfect and sometimes people only discourage us.. but You alone are the source of our strength and encouragement.

Some random stuff-

By the way, does anyone know this - that a porcupine and a hedgehog are totally unrelated animals?

And does anyone think that I look like a koala bear? According to a poll of 3, THREE people think so...!!!!

This is not good..

Shucks.

I currently have a lot of unresolved anger in me. Toward that one specific person about whom I've shared, to Dinkeee and Rimtimtim..

It just sucks. I want to forgive this person not only for this one time but for all the various little things that've been going on. I want to love this person as Jesus would. But it's just so tough. Every SINGLE time I think about it and all the things that've been going on I just want to cry and scream at this person. I shake my head with righteous anger and want to whack sense into this person. I feel sad and hurt. Why is it that so many things you do or say I get affected by?

But then, I remember.. I cannot forgive. Because I cannot do things on my own. Only God can help me. It takes time, sure.. Lord, please help me! PLEASE HELP ME! Change me, and show me how to love others.. I just have to learn to let go of my anger first.

I am schizo.

Yup.

Today's been like an emotional rollercoaster for me.

Miserable and scared and stressed - because of Polo. And because of my memories. Especially after seeing him almost coma-tose and hearing the news from the vet this afternoon - that he might have inflammation of the hip, OR bone cancer. Even as I peek in at him lying in the backyard, and I pray to God to heal him, I am suddenly pricked by bad memories that I thought I'd repressed, and I find myself praying to God as much for Po as for me - that He won't let me have to go through this again. I'm under so much subconscious psychological stress now because when my eyes see Polo, my mind sees Joko, lying there on that same spot, all over again. I see her losing half her body weight before she died; I see her being forcefed by my father and I, impatiently. I see the stars in the skies and I remember telling God, 3 years ago, that if only He would show me any sign, like a meteor shower, that He would save her life.. then I would believe in Him.

Inspired and encouraged - because of the many people that I saw reading the DVC magazine around. Because of the many, Christians and non Christians, who stepped up to ask me questions as I was distributing the magazines.

Thankful that I have friends - because of my dear girls, Lindeee and Dinkeee - they are the best!!! - and Hans and Chris and Peiyu and others, who didn't laugh at me but instead stopped to ask me how I was and to listen and hug me and let me cry to them. And thanks to Weixin and D and J and people online for their concern! =)

Disappointed. Just because. Disappointed cos there were some who didn't seem to bother. And this disappointment just cuts to the quick. Are you so self-centred? Or do you just not care? Is this problem so trivial to you then? Maybe I tend to place too high an expectation on my friends... it's not so much that I need attention during this tough period of my week - but it'd be good, just to know that people cared. That they had the heart to. As it is, some don't. And this makes me even sadder.

The fact that it's a habit doesn't make it better; in fact it makes it worse, much worse.

Sometimes I do think I expect alot from my friends.. I expect them to show care and love as readily as I do normally, especially to them. (I HOPE!) So is this wrong? Or like I've said before, I feel so unappreciated being your friend.. is it just ME who feels like that? Others certainly seem not to feel so, I guess. They have no reason to, since you show them loads more appreciation! Whereas I seem like just a playtoy there to be teased and made fun of, most of the time.. do you realise half the time you never treat me seriously? Do you know how much it HURTS? AND I bet you haven't even read my essay like I asked you to. And so right now.. I'm feeling frustrated too.

I'm sorry for being so frank. But it's just what I want to say.

What's there to do?

Thankful - that my family seems to be holding up pretty well, and that they aren't too stressed out or worried and aren't shouting at one another. I was so scared that they would start pointing fingers.. stress and worry tends to do that to people. Thankful too - for Hai-ena, for trying to cheer us up and wrinkling up his forehead in that extra sweet way.

I feel so tired. So numb, like all the joy and energy's been sucked out of me. I just want to sleep. And wake up, but maybe sometime in the past and not the future.

Won't you pray for him?

Sigh.

I feel so miserable. Worried, no. Cos I know everything is in God's Hands. But sad - of course.

I've gone through this once before and I know just how crushing it can get. That's why I refused to go to the vet's today with my parents. Cos I'm scared, and I'd rather remain ignorant about why my dog is ill. He's never been ill before, in fact, has always been robust and the most hardy dog around. But yesterday all of a sudden he refused to eat and for about 24 hours, just lay sleeping on the floor. Without even twitching when we went to talk to him.

Hey guys, pray for him. And please don't come to me now and say "He's only a dog"... if only you all were to run your hands through his fur, spend nights curled up with him, legs upon his curved back.. and see the way his tail just waves furiously when you come home.. and had glimpsed the way he tried to raise his paw to comfort me, as I sat crying over him this morning... then you would know he isn't "only a dog".

What they don't teach you in primary school...

The brilliant, intellectually-stimulating conversation during dinner just now centred around the.. ahem.. reproduction habits of ceratioids - yup, Anglerfish.

You know, those ugly fish with a serious underbite problem and that dangling lamp hanging from the top of their heads?

Anyways, so I enlightened the guys, Kwang and Barny, about the mating rituals of Anglerfish.

According to Wikipedia, "His goal in life is to detect the pheromones that the female anglerfish release. When he finds a female, he bites into her flank, and an enzyme digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to their blood vessels. The male degenerates into nothing more than a pair of gonads that releases sperm when the female releases certain hormones into the bloodstream indicating egg release. This is an extreme example of sexual dimorphism."

The funniest thing about today was the expression of the faces of the guys, especially Kwang. An uncontrollable mixture of relief, thanksgiving and despair spread across his face. C-LASSIC! Mua-haha.

What a friend we have in Jesus!

I'm sitting in law-link now, listening to Kwang's songs that I got off the shared network. Tee-hee. This is one of my favorite songs, and has been since primary school. Back then, it was the easily followed melody that appealed to me, and I never cared much about the lyrics; but now, the more I listen to the song, the more the words speak to me. =) Okie, after copying and pasting the lyrics, I shall go back to studying.

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilage to carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus Knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour, still our refuge;
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee;
Thou wilt find a solace there.

How great is our God.

These few days, and even this past week, God's been constantly reminding me, over and over again, of just how great He is.

The last few weeks I'd been in emotional turmoil. Yea, the face I present to the world seems cheery and happy all the time, cos I never like to admit that I'm feeling down - but trust me, for many days at least I really just cried myself to sleep. Maybe that's why I missed so much lessons - cos my eyes became all swollen the next day and I CANNOT bear to appear with swollen eyes in public. Ha-ha..

But seriously.. all this is true. I'd been feeling very down; actually, this isn't something I would admit to many people. But since it's all in the past (hopefully), it doesn't matter.

But over the past week, God's reminder has been upon my heart. Now I know that, regardless of what happens, regardless of any situation or circumstance, the greatness and the glory of God will be with me. The LOVE and GRACE of God will always be upon me. I just need to seek Him first, and all emotional turmoils will fall away. After this realisation, I've seriously come to embrace a peace, far greater than any I've known for months.

Yup, thank You Father!

But I also think He's telling me that it's okay to open my heart to my friends.. to share about what I'm feeling, instead of pretending to be strong all the time. Well the problem is.. I'm not actually pretending - it's more like how I don't really see the need to tell about my problems half the time, cos it wouldn't make me feel better nor solve the problem anyways.

But I'm beginning to see that transparency in friendships are important - especially transparency about feelings.

Just give me time, dear friends. It's not that I don't want to share most of the time.. it's just not me. But I'll learn, one day, yup I will.

The song that's been lingering in my head today, especially in the afternoon -

Holy holy are You Lord
The whole earth is filled with Your Glory
Let the nations rise to give
Honour and praise to Your Name
Let Your face shine on us
And the world will know You live
All the heavens shout Your praise
Beautiful is our God
The universe will sing
Halleluja to You our King

Do you love Him?

Am supposed to read my Political Philosophy readings but somehow, this issue keeps popping into my head. Read something like that from a friend's blog.

Do we love God? As much as He loves us?

Sure, the "best" Christian might very well be the one standing beside you in the pews on Sundays.. he/she serves the most diligently, does his/her Quiet Time for at least an hour per day, takes time off to do volunteer work, gives unhesitatingly to missions.. but does he/she love God truly?

On Judgement Day, when God says - "Do you love me?" - what will your answer be?

Do we really love Him? Are we ready to give our lives for Him, just as He died for us? Are we ready to love others, just as He loves others?

In the best of times, when A's come your way and everything goes well, you proclaim His greatness and His might. But what happens when everything goes wrong in life, when family members die and you go bankrupt? Would you still walk close to Him? Or would you complain and rant, and draw away from God?

What is love? Love is not the legalistic expression of how much you want others to admire your "close walk with God".. as I suspect many of us, I included, think it is. True, we feel good when others praise us for serving so dutifully, for proclaiming His beauty.. for "loving" God so well. But is that love?

Love is - just love. Love is the willingness, the passion, the conviction in your heart that what you're doing is right, when God calls you to do it. It's the thankfulness and gratefulness that overflows in you, whether you see rainbows or when the rain's beating down too heavily. It's the feeling when you close your eyes and can just feel His warmth and love surrounding you.. and just feel so glad, so joyful.. it's the little whispered prayers only you and God know about, the willingness to shed all inhibitions and just show your vulnerability, and just run crying into His arms... Love is the passion to get to know Him more, more and more and more, day by day.. Love is the feeling you get when God's finally, really within you.

And out of a love for God comes an outpouring of joy, and of peace, and of love for others.

Ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart and tell you if you really love Him. Ask God to teach you how to love Him - love Him as He first loved us.

Wow.

God spoke to me today.

Thank you, Kwang. For letting God work through you to inspire us. And thank You, Lord!

You told me to let go of worldly pursuits and just seek You first.. to just sit at Your feet and meditate on Your Holiness.. O Lord, just break me, and take all of me.. take me and transform me. To become a woman after Your Heart, who desires unfailingly for You, whose thirst for You is unslaked.

Teach us to love You as You have loved us, Lord.

The wild creatures of Brunei, and other stories.

Okie, maybe I'm too easily amused. But here're a coupla things that happened in the past few days that really WERE hilarious (to me):

Chris was talking about this training trip he made during NS days to Brunei, deep in the Bruneiian (?) jungles. So the only rations each guy got for about 3 days was - one pack of rice, one (!!!) chicken wing, and so forth.

Rimtimtim: So what wild things did you eat?

I sat with abated breath, expecting Chris to confess to the murder of wild boars or fish. Instead,

Chris: Wild things ah? Dukus.


Heh-heh. The Wild Creatures of the Bruneiian Jungles. But don't underestimate the guys; they really had to work hard, chopping at the Duku tree with their parangs for the entire day, before they could taste the sweet fruits of their labour. Which led to the next question -

KL: Uh, why didn't you guys climb up the tree instead?






I was talking to a Crusade brother on msn. Said Crusade brother shall remain annonymous here, but he insists that everyone will be able to guess his identity. Oh wells... Judging by the number of people the mean KL blocks on msn.. heh-heh. Not a lot of choices we have here, do we? In fact, this brother insists that -

Surround yourself with good people. And one good woman. [xxxxxxx] says: (8:57:53 PM)
then everyone will know its me

kailuo~www.apassionforyourname.blogspot.com says: (8:57:58 PM)
it might NOT be u!

Surround yourself with good people. And one good woman. [xxxxxxx] says: (8:58:03 PM)
come on

Surround yourself with good people. And one good woman. [xxxxxxx] says: (8:58:10 PM)
no one talks to u on msn

Oeii!!! Of course people talk to me lah! Ha-ha. But just for his sake, I shall xxx out his name on his msn nick. Hmm. Anyways, here goes:


Surround yourself with good people. And one good woman. [xxxxxxx] says: (8:59:05 PM)
he was weeping to me that KL block him...

kailuo~www.apassionforyourname.blogspot.com says: (8:59:11 PM)
really..when?

Surround yourself with good people. And one good woman. [xxxxxxx] says: (8:59:27 PM)
like last week... on 29 feb?

kailuo~www.apassionforyourname.blogspot.com says: (8:59:41 PM)
oh,

kailuo~www.apassionforyourname.blogspot.com says: (8:59:42 PM)
wah.

kailuo~www.apassionforyourname.blogspot.com says: (8:59:45 PM)
i feel so mean.

kailuo~www.apassionforyourname.blogspot.com says: (8:59:48 PM)
that i made xxxxx cry.

Surround yourself with good people. And one good woman. [xxxxxxx] says: (8:59:59 PM)
oh he did not

Surround yourself with good people. And one good woman. [xxxxxxx] says: (9:00:13 PM)
there's no 29feb

kailuo~www.apassionforyourname.blogspot.com says: (9:00:18 PM)
.............

Ha-ha. I have interesting friends. I love them, I really do! =)




GREAT NEWS!!!!

There's a new hero in my life.

He's blonde, has the most wonderful melting hazel brown eyes, and is strongly muscled all over. He listens to me (most of the time) and every day he gives me tender kisses on my face. He's got a gentle, probing touch, doesn't step out of the house (sometimes) without me, and he's SO BRAVE!

Ahhhh...



He's my DOG lah! What were you thinking? Ha-ha..

I'm pleased and proud to announce that, after a long wait of 2 months - yes, folks, that's TWO LONG MONTHS! - my new hero, Polo-boy, otherwise known as "that fierce dog" (to our neighbours) and the newly-titled King of Lim Ah Pin Road, has managed to kill the rat that's been been the bane of my family for so long.

Yes. This evening I went to the back to let him into our house, as we normally do. This time round, though, instead of shooting eagerly into the house like a bullet, Polo did something unusual; he headed straight for this small room we have in the backyard, and started sniffing and whining. At first I thought he was hurt, but after seeing him jump around like a Duracell bunny I figured it was - the - RAT.

So I called my mum along, and she snatched up a big ole stick to whack the heck out of ole Rodent Boy, should he appear. Well but when he did - POLO got to him first, before any of us cowards did! He pounced and the entire 30cm long (well from head to tail) rodent disappeared under his formidably muscled body! With a few shakes of his mighty head and a snap-crunch-rip Polo'd killed the resident rodent of number # _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Road!

Da Bandit has it all down on film.. his brave did, her *shame-faced* cowardly shrieks (I did not shriek, I merely stood aside and refused to step across the gate to the backyard), how Polo grabbed hold of Rodent Boy by the neck and refused to let go...

Well all righty, after mucho hugs and kisses and a hastily opened pack of Cesar and some handfuls of dry food, our hero seems mighty pleased and proud of himself. He lies regally on his throne (aka our sofa) now, knowing that, whatever trangressions he does in the next few days at least, the Wicked Witch (aka the Mum) will not scold him.

Hmmm. Well it's good that Polo caught the rat.. like da Bandit said, it was just a matter of when, not if, he'd catch it. But now I'm wondering.. could this be the first catch in a future career of rodent-killing? I should hope not... especially not when the two remaining rodents in our house now are Timmie and Hammie.

Anyways, here's introducing - the Hero of the Evening, Polo-boy!!!!

Come to Jesus...

SooOooo...

Today was OMBF for my DG but I didn't go, cos I was staying at home to complete some stuff, and didn't really want to break the momentum. Thank You Lord for giving me the rest that I need, and the discipline!

This sem I've been studying relatively harder than last, or the last, or THE last one before that, so yesterday when I had a test I really really wanted to do well.

When I saw the questions though, my mind really just went blank. I did study, as much as I could.. but it was just that I couldn't remember anything for nuts. All my well laid plans, that of getting A's and A+'s for my philosophy modules flew away in front of me like sneering crows. Oh wells. But seriously, I do thank God.. for this reminder. This reminder that even though man makes his plans, GOD is the one who can fulfil everything and anything. My Father, my Lord, is the one who will decide what's in store for me, who will take care of me.. and so I have decided to just place the rest of the modules into His able Hands, and just be at peace. Yup!

It's really a great feeling.. I've been having this peace from God these past few weeks, at least in matters to do with my studies. He's just been telling me to do my best, and that He'll take care of the rest.. that's a wonderful feeling! Thank You Lord!

But I do feel guilty.. and sad, cos I haven't been reading my bible as much as I should. Like I told my DG-mates, there should be no compromises in my walk with God, regardless of how many worries or stress we have! Yup.. that is a resolution I will make right now - to get to know Him more and more and MORE each day! =) Nothing is going to come between my Creator, my Savior, and me!

Anyways, this song just popped up in my head just now. It's a wonderful, simple song... and for those who are extra inquisitive and wanna know, YES, the actual song was in English, and YES, I will post the lyrics up too. =)

Komm zu Jesus
Verwündet, schwach, ein Sünder
Verloren wenn du stirbst
Oh heb den Kopf weil Liebe um dich wirbt
Komm zu JESUS, komm zu JESUS, komm zu JESUS
Und leb

Jetzt ist die Last verschwunden
Ins tiefste Meer versenkt
Sein Tod hat dir das Leben neu geschenkt
Nun sing zu JESUS, sing zu JESUS, sing zu JESUS
Und leb

Hab keine Angst zu krabben
Als neugebornes Kind
Und vergiß nicht manchmal fallen wir auch hin
Dann fall auf JESUS, fall auf JESUS, fall auf Jesus
Und leb

Dein Weg ist manchmal einsam
Gepflastet auch mit Schmerz
Dein Himmel schwarz und trännenvoll dein Herz
Dann schrei zu JESUS, schrei zu JESUS, schrei zu JESUS
Und leb

Wenn Liebe übersprudelt
Musik die Nacht erfüllt
Die Freude deine Leidenschaft enthüllt
Dann tanz für JESUS, tanz für JESUS, tanz für JESUS
Und leb

Und mit dem letzten Herzschlag
Sage lebewohl
Dann geh im Frieden denn er wartet schon
Flieg heim zu JESUS, heim zu JESUS, heim zu JESUS
Und leb

Flieg heim zu JESUS, heim zu JESUS, heim zu JESUS
Und leb...

And the English lyrics, here goes:


Untitled hymn (by Chris Rice)
Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
Raise your head for love is passing by
Come to JESUS, come to JESUS, come to JESUS
And live

Now your burden's lifted and carried far away
His precious blood has washed away the stains
So sing to JESUS, sing to JESUS, sing to JESUS
And live

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when we walk sometimes we fall
So fall on JESUS, fall on JESUS, fall on JESUS
And live

Sometimes the way in lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain
Then cry to JESUS, cry to JESUS, cry to JESUS
And live

O and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
When you can't contain your joy inside
Then dance for JESUS, dance for JESUS, dance for JESUS
And live

With your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace and laugh on Glory's high
Then fly to JESUS, fly to JESUS, fly to JESUS
And live.....

Absolutely beautiful song. I have tears in my eyes right now, thinking of what Jesus has done, and what He will do for us sinners. Thank You God for Your Grace... Thank You Lord Jesus for being our greatest, first love.

Conviction AND passion..

Dear H and J,

After much ruminating, I've figured out that both conviction and passion are equally important.

It's only when you possess both conviction - conviction that whatever you're doing you have been led to by the Holy Spirit - and a burning passion and love for God and all His ways, a passion that far outshines the passion you have for other things - that you know that whatever you're doing is not only good, it's god-willed.

Lookie Abraham. He felt the conviction to bring Isaac up to Mt. Sinai, but without a passion for God, he would never have carried the act through to such an advance stage.

So passion and conviction go hand in hand.. I think now.

Agreed, H and J? Ha-ha.. I can't believe I'm sacrificing valuable S-ing time to B. *smirks*

Rubbish quiz.. haha.

you are PHISH FOOD.Chocolate Ice Cream with Gooey

Marshmallow, a Caramel Swirl & Fudge Fish..

you like to save the environmet....hippie....


What flavor of ben & jerry's ICE CREAM are you?
brought to you by Quizilla




This is rubbish.. cos I'm not Phish food.. But hey, it's quite cool ain't it? I love Phish food and I just finished a tub of it this weekend. =) Anyways, the part about saving the environment.. well, admittedly I'm not someone who would rejoice in the nobility found in the sweating that one should endure just to switch off the air-con and conserve energy.. but it is true, now and then I get strange urgings in my heart to aid one Good Cause or another. In these times my passion and energy for these causes are sometimes frighteningly infectious, and sometimes frighteningly irritating. Ha.

Oh by the way, just to document my seemingly pitless stomach for all of cyberspace to read - between 12 midnight this morning and 10am, I managed to consume... *ahem*... ELEVEN slices of pizza. Yup folks, that's 11. And two Cornettos.

Yum yum.