Return of the Uncle-killer!!!
Phewwww!!!!
Ever since school closed for the semester and I started working on the island, I've had a secret fear that my uncle-slaying skills have vanished, due to a sad under-utility of them. It didn't help that the drinks stall uncle (or rather, one of the three) in the canteen on Pulau Bukom is a dour, sour old man whom no one has ever gotten a friendly word out of. To top it off, one of the two construction supervisors that I work most closely with, Z, is this guy who.. mumbles. And I mean, mumble. 9 times out of 10 no one understands what he says, and I don't know how anyone understands either. That's something both myself and da Bandit concur on, completely. The other supervisor, G, doesn't mumble and he's quite friendly and smiley to me, but I don't get a lot of time trying to charm him, either, since he's out in the site most of the day.
Hence. The fear that my magic has vanished totally.
A-ha! But just late last week! My fear was assuaged! As I innocently queried the drinks stall uncle on the cost of a cup of Milo, he broke out - most strangely without rhythm or reason - into chuckles. Wrinkles creased his weathered face as his mouth opened to reveal a gormless grin. All right, so maybe you all could say that wasn't counted, cos I hadn't said anything remotely witty or charming even. Maybe he is just mad, I don't know. But that day, he did wave a goodbye to me. HA! So I shall count that as my 0.5th conquest!
Today! I finally understood Z! I was standing around in the area where the construction workers relax during breaks and saw three mangoes on the table. Innocently I queried again: "Are these mangoes or pongpongs?" A-HA! Z, being the plants fanatic that he is, immediately took it upon him to educate this suaku-kia in the important differences between a mango and a kalimansi/guava/etc tree. He gestured for me to follow him and, with conquest already pending in my heart, I triumphantly walked with Z to the back of the area.
There grew a mango tree, a kalimansi tree, chilli padi bushes, mint bushes, ginger, etc etc. I could see the warmth in Z's eyes, and his growing smile, as I listened to his laments about the guava tree that had been cut down, just to make space for this thing, asked him about how to grow a mango tree (not using seeds, but a grafting), boasted about our own kalimansi bushes at home, impressed him with my knowledge of the Malay language (yes, halia is ginger), gamely bit into a piece of mint leaf, and widened my impressed eyes at the number of mangoes brewing for ripeness that he'd stored in his locker. Heehee. Z invited me to bring home as many of the mangoes as I wanted (yes, Z, I'll come look for you when I want mangoes, okie?), and later that afternoon, with a grunt, presented me with some sour plums, gratis. Hehehe. And so, to confirm the kill, yours truly gave him one of the precious Tronky-chocolates I had with me, too.
Hehe... 1.5 uncles down.. now for the next 1000 on the island. Watch this space and be amazed! =p
Anyways. Here're some Uncle-slaying techniques (some would call 'em tactics) for the uninitiated, courtesy of the number 1 Uncle-killer in NUS. MUAHAHA. I wear this label not only with a sense of pride, but also with a tinge of embarrassment. After all, it's not every girl the drinks stall uncle in the Arts canteen asks every single time, "Do you have a boyfriend/Want me to introduce you to ____?" *smirks*
1) Smile. Smile, smile, smile. The wider your smile, THE BETTER.
2) Do not diversify. Be single-minded in your pursue of just which type of Uncles you want to slay. Uncles are mostly divided into two types - those who respond to a cheeky grin and cheeky responses, and those who don't. Typically I go for the former, although sometimes, with a bit of probing and alot of SMILES, the latter do melt, too.
3) Be prepared to spend a bit more than the usual customer/passer-by when you go all out to charm your chosen target. Not only money, in the case of Stall Uncles, but also time. Listen attentively and nod, and say cheeky things, and SMILE. Or GRIN. It's rather the same thing.
4) Be patient. Especially when the Uncles choose to whip out their handphones and proceed to tell you about their life stories. Uncles always have a store of most interesting and intriguing information that it would do everyone well to pay attention to.
5) Note down what special interests/special likes the targeted Uncle has. Does your Uncle like chocolates? When you have an extra bar, present it to him. Smile. Does your Uncle like plants? (see above example) Listen to him talk about them, and smile.
6) Be thick-skinned. Don't be discouraged when during the first few times, the Uncle does not melt at your smile/respond to your cheeky probings. Uncles always want to save "face"; the only difference between Uncles is how much face they all want to save. So just grin, bear any scoldings or even worse, indifferent treatments from the various Uncles, and SMILE. And SMILE even more widely, the next you see 'em, so they won't think you're some petty pesky little gal.
Ever since school closed for the semester and I started working on the island, I've had a secret fear that my uncle-slaying skills have vanished, due to a sad under-utility of them. It didn't help that the drinks stall uncle (or rather, one of the three) in the canteen on Pulau Bukom is a dour, sour old man whom no one has ever gotten a friendly word out of. To top it off, one of the two construction supervisors that I work most closely with, Z, is this guy who.. mumbles. And I mean, mumble. 9 times out of 10 no one understands what he says, and I don't know how anyone understands either. That's something both myself and da Bandit concur on, completely. The other supervisor, G, doesn't mumble and he's quite friendly and smiley to me, but I don't get a lot of time trying to charm him, either, since he's out in the site most of the day.
Hence. The fear that my magic has vanished totally.
A-ha! But just late last week! My fear was assuaged! As I innocently queried the drinks stall uncle on the cost of a cup of Milo, he broke out - most strangely without rhythm or reason - into chuckles. Wrinkles creased his weathered face as his mouth opened to reveal a gormless grin. All right, so maybe you all could say that wasn't counted, cos I hadn't said anything remotely witty or charming even. Maybe he is just mad, I don't know. But that day, he did wave a goodbye to me. HA! So I shall count that as my 0.5th conquest!
Today! I finally understood Z! I was standing around in the area where the construction workers relax during breaks and saw three mangoes on the table. Innocently I queried again: "Are these mangoes or pongpongs?" A-HA! Z, being the plants fanatic that he is, immediately took it upon him to educate this suaku-kia in the important differences between a mango and a kalimansi/guava/etc tree. He gestured for me to follow him and, with conquest already pending in my heart, I triumphantly walked with Z to the back of the area.
There grew a mango tree, a kalimansi tree, chilli padi bushes, mint bushes, ginger, etc etc. I could see the warmth in Z's eyes, and his growing smile, as I listened to his laments about the guava tree that had been cut down, just to make space for this thing, asked him about how to grow a mango tree (not using seeds, but a grafting), boasted about our own kalimansi bushes at home, impressed him with my knowledge of the Malay language (yes, halia is ginger), gamely bit into a piece of mint leaf, and widened my impressed eyes at the number of mangoes brewing for ripeness that he'd stored in his locker. Heehee. Z invited me to bring home as many of the mangoes as I wanted (yes, Z, I'll come look for you when I want mangoes, okie?), and later that afternoon, with a grunt, presented me with some sour plums, gratis. Hehehe. And so, to confirm the kill, yours truly gave him one of the precious Tronky-chocolates I had with me, too.
Hehe... 1.5 uncles down.. now for the next 1000 on the island. Watch this space and be amazed! =p
Anyways. Here're some Uncle-slaying techniques (some would call 'em tactics) for the uninitiated, courtesy of the number 1 Uncle-killer in NUS. MUAHAHA. I wear this label not only with a sense of pride, but also with a tinge of embarrassment. After all, it's not every girl the drinks stall uncle in the Arts canteen asks every single time, "Do you have a boyfriend/Want me to introduce you to ____?" *smirks*
1) Smile. Smile, smile, smile. The wider your smile, THE BETTER.
2) Do not diversify. Be single-minded in your pursue of just which type of Uncles you want to slay. Uncles are mostly divided into two types - those who respond to a cheeky grin and cheeky responses, and those who don't. Typically I go for the former, although sometimes, with a bit of probing and alot of SMILES, the latter do melt, too.
3) Be prepared to spend a bit more than the usual customer/passer-by when you go all out to charm your chosen target. Not only money, in the case of Stall Uncles, but also time. Listen attentively and nod, and say cheeky things, and SMILE. Or GRIN. It's rather the same thing.
4) Be patient. Especially when the Uncles choose to whip out their handphones and proceed to tell you about their life stories. Uncles always have a store of most interesting and intriguing information that it would do everyone well to pay attention to.
5) Note down what special interests/special likes the targeted Uncle has. Does your Uncle like chocolates? When you have an extra bar, present it to him. Smile. Does your Uncle like plants? (see above example) Listen to him talk about them, and smile.
6) Be thick-skinned. Don't be discouraged when during the first few times, the Uncle does not melt at your smile/respond to your cheeky probings. Uncles always want to save "face"; the only difference between Uncles is how much face they all want to save. So just grin, bear any scoldings or even worse, indifferent treatments from the various Uncles, and SMILE. And SMILE even more widely, the next you see 'em, so they won't think you're some petty pesky little gal.
7) And above all - smile, smile and SMILE. Even when you don't understand what the Uncle is talking about. Or rather, especially when you don't understand what he's talking about.
(Uhm.. success isn't really guaranteed for everyone. I'll only say that it works with yours truly. Hehe.)
(Uhm.. success isn't really guaranteed for everyone. I'll only say that it works with yours truly. Hehe.)
posted by Yellow Garfield at 9:18 PM
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