The more I determine to love and serve others, the tougher it is to do so. Of course it's a spiritual warfare, and I know I have to overcome the turmoil and emotions that are inside me.

But it's so tough. Either I disappoint others, or (I perceive that) they disappoint me. Of course I'm always so selfish and thinking about how much you've hurt me and stuff like that, and only think about how my words and actions might have hurt, long after I do it. But still. I'm human, after all.

That's no excuse though... I am asking God to show me how to love others while loving less and less of myself (in a GOOD way..) .. but this is just a ranty post, COS I FEEL RANTY TODAY. =(

Darn it, this world and its people are really empty, pale and poor. And I'm one of the people who are so.

The most important thing I need right now - to understand God's GRACE, so I can extend it to others. I think I haven't fully grasped the wonder of His Grace and that's why I'm feeling and thinking the way I do now...

Darn it more, the more I determine to serve and love others, the more I understand of how selfish and self-centred I am. Even in such trivial matters as thinking of how others affect me.

And he put them away. Then he said,
"That is that."
And then he was gone

With the tip of his hat.

You guys might not understand what I mean by that. That's okay, only I need to know. Good old Dr Seuss and his cat in the hat.

Okie I'm not making much sense today.