My opinions on a few small things..

Just came back from church and like Darryl said, it was sooo good to get back to the routine of having "normal" services, after a few weeks of ... er, combined services and stuff.

Well.

But are services normal? Some are, admittedly.. I go, I sing with all my heart, I listen to the sermon (while playing with the hair of the person in front at the same time, heh).. but there is still something missing. Nothing speaks to your heart. Nothing tells you that you're now undeniably in God's Holy presence; nothing makes you hunger for more of that.

But today's was different. It wasn't.. well, normal. It really spoke to me - I think God not only lifted my spirits, He also caused my heart to plummet to the depths of despair when I realized - sadly, in anguish - that His presence is just not with me. Not all the time. I can read the bible, I can pray, even sing worship songs - but is His presence with me, in me? Sadly, not always.

This realization stayed with me as I felt a pressing need to go up for altar call. Tears really just streamed down my face uncontrollably as I realized how much I'd wronged my God - and how much I need Him.

But you know what? I'm going to really just do that - to pursue His face, relentlessly. No compromises, until I really just see my God and make Him my closest, most intimate friend. Everything else can go away, but I'll be satisfied then, cos I have - Him. You.

Well... other than that... I really want to give several shoutouts -

To Chris, thanks for taking the time to talk to and encourage me yesterday. I really feel more.. er.. encouraged. Yup, definitely. Time to get crankin' and show more love towards others! I feel blessed and thankful that I have you as a CGL. =)

To Da Bandit - it was good spending time with you and Haiena yesterday too, and I ADORE your generosity. Heh-heh. And your love and care for your annoying bratty li'l sis here. Haven't really been talking much with you now... and I'm sorry. Wanna consider coming along to church with me on Sundays? We could bring Haiena out in the early mornings before service...

To my great and mighty Worship I/C - yup, I apologised cos.. well. Cos it was mean to say you didn't look nice (you do today), AND also cos I really shouldn't have said it in front of so many people, in the context of the debrief session. So. Sorry. Yup, really.. sometimes my thoughts run away with me, before I can process them, but maybe it's time to change that.

To Rimtimtim - You know why, it's all written down. =)