In retrospect though..

I really must say...

I have been wrong.

I looked deep within myself and God revealed to me how unlovable and unsavoury my character is. I thought I was worthless. Unloved. Unlovable. I sank into these lies and chose to believe in them - at least for a few days.

And how wrong I was. How terribly wrong.

Not only to believe these lies, but also because - because of all I've put my dear friends through. Oh dear..my dears.. my heart just sinks now cos of all the hurt and pain I've placed on you guys, those who care for me deeply. I'm so so so sorry.. I don't want to be like that. I want to be constant encouragement and source of joy for all of you!

Don't worry, it's "sorry" in a good way, cos I'm really so touched by your love now. =)

One more thing too - I am touched by You, Abba Father. For all the good friends and blessings You've surrounded me with, even during hard times - my family, dogs, and everything else. But Lord - please constantly remind me that You are so much more than just blessings - You are who You are.

And I want to know YOU - for WHO You are. And not only for WHAT You can give.

Although what You have provided me with I really rejoice in, too! With all my heart and soul! =)