Trust in the Lord...
Yesterday I was listening to this online sermon. Forgot who it's by.. only that the speaker has an unbearably nasal Southern accent, hehe. But anyways, thank goodness I didn't forget the content! It was about.. how trusting in the Lord is important. Proverbs 3:5 says - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."
Sometimes when you read the bible (or at least, when I do), everything it says there seems just so simple and do-able. For instance, one of the 10 commandments says "You shall not murder".. and I'm sure that all (or at least, MOST of us! Haha) of us, while reading it, nod our heads in agreement, and never doubt the purity of our hearts in wanting to avoid murder. Afterall, murder's such a.. farfetched thing. You might FEEL like murdering that irritating brat with squeaky shoes who's throwing a tantrum and blocking your way in the neighbourhood Cold Storage, but you wouldn't carry it out - would you? So most of us think that stuff that's written in the bible's easy to follow. And so should trusting in the Lord entirely be followable too - right?
But curiously, strangely, it's not. I seriously don't know why. I mean, logically speaking, I know the Lord is great, and that He has good plans for me, if only I were to trust in Him and His Will. But emotionally, it's really a struggle.. to give up what's precious to me.. and to surrender it to the Lord. Urghhh.. actually, there've seriously been nights, many nights, when I've cried myself to sleep, cos I've kept thinking about this issue and I've always wanted my own way in it.
From young, I've been quite headstrong, and that, coupled with indulgent parents, has just made me a person whose will has not often been thwarted.. at least, in things that matter to me. And seriously, I know that's made me quite spoilt.. and now it's a real challenge, to have to face something that I can't handle, that's out of my puny hands.. and to have to place it all in God's Hands.
Lord... I know You know best, that You will take care of me.. so why's it so tough to let go? I know it's all for my own good.. that it's a growth process.. that most of the time, good things only come when we wait.. yes, yada yada, all these I know, I can memorise by heart.. but emotionally, it's just such a struggle, to have to let go, and to trust in Your Goodness 100%! That's really something I have to work on.. right now I don't really think I'm ready, and that's something I regret and am sorry about. I forsee that I'll still have many chances to cry myself to sleep in front of me.
I really don't know.. when I'll be able to fully follow Your Will..but I pray that it'll be some day soon.
Ok, I'm off for some exercise. Recently I've been subsisting on instant noodles and chocolatey goodness.. not good, not good.
Love
Kailuo
PS Ruth...if you're reading this.. thanks! Haha..
Sometimes when you read the bible (or at least, when I do), everything it says there seems just so simple and do-able. For instance, one of the 10 commandments says "You shall not murder".. and I'm sure that all (or at least, MOST of us! Haha) of us, while reading it, nod our heads in agreement, and never doubt the purity of our hearts in wanting to avoid murder. Afterall, murder's such a.. farfetched thing. You might FEEL like murdering that irritating brat with squeaky shoes who's throwing a tantrum and blocking your way in the neighbourhood Cold Storage, but you wouldn't carry it out - would you? So most of us think that stuff that's written in the bible's easy to follow. And so should trusting in the Lord entirely be followable too - right?
But curiously, strangely, it's not. I seriously don't know why. I mean, logically speaking, I know the Lord is great, and that He has good plans for me, if only I were to trust in Him and His Will. But emotionally, it's really a struggle.. to give up what's precious to me.. and to surrender it to the Lord. Urghhh.. actually, there've seriously been nights, many nights, when I've cried myself to sleep, cos I've kept thinking about this issue and I've always wanted my own way in it.
From young, I've been quite headstrong, and that, coupled with indulgent parents, has just made me a person whose will has not often been thwarted.. at least, in things that matter to me. And seriously, I know that's made me quite spoilt.. and now it's a real challenge, to have to face something that I can't handle, that's out of my puny hands.. and to have to place it all in God's Hands.
Lord... I know You know best, that You will take care of me.. so why's it so tough to let go? I know it's all for my own good.. that it's a growth process.. that most of the time, good things only come when we wait.. yes, yada yada, all these I know, I can memorise by heart.. but emotionally, it's just such a struggle, to have to let go, and to trust in Your Goodness 100%! That's really something I have to work on.. right now I don't really think I'm ready, and that's something I regret and am sorry about. I forsee that I'll still have many chances to cry myself to sleep in front of me.
I really don't know.. when I'll be able to fully follow Your Will..but I pray that it'll be some day soon.
Ok, I'm off for some exercise. Recently I've been subsisting on instant noodles and chocolatey goodness.. not good, not good.
Love
Kailuo
PS Ruth...if you're reading this.. thanks! Haha..
posted by Yellow Garfield at 10:22 AM
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